


becoming

by tenderlybarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Language, M/M, Nothing graphic or severe, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Trans Steve Rogers, allusions to transphobia, but just a warning in case, mentions of dysphoria, trans!Steve Rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderlybarnes/pseuds/tenderlybarnes
Summary: Bucky helps Steve make a big change.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 42





	becoming

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by an incredible art piece by hopeless--geek on tumblr of trans!Steve. I'm in awe over it and couldn’t stop thinking about it, so here this is. Go show their work some love!  
> PSA don’t bind like Steve does in the art! There’s good resources in the caption of the original post to tell you more about it!

Steve began crying as soon as the scissors sliced through the first lock of his hair. 

He had known. He had always known, felt it deep in his bones, knew it before he even had the words for it. 

_They were sitting on a brick wall behind the school for lunch. Steve was in front of Bucky with Bucky’s legs straddling the thin wall, Steve almost snuggled into his chest._

_Bucky was braiding Steve’s hair. He was good at it. His little sister wanted braids almost every morning, so Bucky had mastered the skill for her. These days, Steve begged braids from him to keep his hair tucked back, hidden in a ball of knots at the base of his neck. Begged was a strong word for it. Anything Steve wanted, Bucky would make it happen._

_“Hey, Bucky,” Steve said. He melted against his friend’s hands as they worked deftly over his scalp, pulling hairs into place._

_“Hm?” Bucky hummed._

_Steve took a breath. “I want you to call me Steve.”_

_“Okay,” Bucky replied. “No problem, pal.”_

_And that was that._

_***_

Bucky was late getting home from work. Steve sat in their cramped bathroom. The scissors were perched on the edge of the sink, his one clump of hair a nest in the cracked bowl. He drug a hand across his face, smearing the tears on his cheeks.

Fuck, why was this so hard? Why was his heart hammering, nerves on edge?

He heard the front door open and close, the familiar rhythm of Bucky’s footsteps. Steve rubbed his eyes and tried to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“Stevie?” Bucky called. “Where are you at?” 

“In here,” Steve croaked. 

Bucky appeared in the bathroom doorway, a bag cradled in his arms. “I thought I’d surprise- hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

Steve shuddered. “It’s just hard, you know? Like, I- I’m finally getting to do this and, well, it scares me a little. But a good scared?”

Bucky smiled softly. “Maybe what I brought you will help.”

He cleared off a small space on the bathroom counter and set the items out. A pair of new, sharp scissors. A crisp white button-down, thrifted, but still plenty new to Steve. Far newer than anything else he had. 

“Bucky, I-” Steve started, but Bucky held up a hand.

“Allow me to explain,” Bucky said, holding up each item as he went. “New scissors, because it’s important. I wanted you to have something special just for this. Not our shitty rusted pair. Knowing your luck, you’d accidentally slice yourself and then I’d have to take you to the hospital for blood poisoning. And the shirt is just because you need a new one.”

Steve started crying harder. 

Bucky’s face contorted, hesitant. “Did I mess up?”

“No, Bucky,” Steve said. “It’s just real sweet, that’s all.”

Bucky’s smile returned. “Alright then. Hop up on the stool and get settled. Welcome to Bucky’s barber shop.”

***

_It was the first time he wore trousers and a button-down to school. His mom left for work before he left for school and Bucky had snuck him some clothes the afternoon before. His hands shook as he slid the belt through the loops, as he fastened each button, laced up his shoes. Bucky’s clothes were too big on him, but he cuffed the pants and sleeves and felt, for the first time, a little more_ right _._

_It took all of five minutes for Bucky to get suspended that day. It took less than that for Steve to get noticed in the schoolyard, for Bucky to throw a punch hard enough to knock a kid’s tooth out._

_A teacher swooped down on them quickly. Steve hid, slipping out over the brick wall and racing to catch up with Bucky as he walked home._

_They spent the day together. Bucky used some pocket change to buy them candy from the shop a few blocks down. When it neared time for Steve’s mom to be home, Bucky walked Steve to the complex next door. Before he turned away, he grabbed Steve’s hand and squeezed it hard._

_Neither of them ever told their mothers._

***

“You ready?” Bucky asked.

He held a lock of Steve’s hair aloft so that Steve could see it in the mirror. The scissors glinted in the dull light.

The corners of Steve’s mouth twitched up. “Ready.”

There was nothing but the sound of the scissor blades slicing together and Steve’s hair fell away.

“Holy shit,” he whispered.

Bucky caught his gaze in the mirror. He grinned. “Look at yourself, handsome fella.”

Steve blushed a furiously bright red. 

Bucky continued to cut his hair.

*** 

_Bucky started taking ahold of Steve’s hand as they walked to school in the morning. He dropped it as they neared the building, but Steve knew it wasn’t personal._

_He would take Steve’s hand as they walked home too._

_As they studied together, sprawled on Bucky’s living room floor, his sister hanging upside-down from the couch._

_Steve didn’t know if she just didn’t notice, or simply didn’t care, or if Bucky had talked to her. It made his heart race every time. But in a good way._

_The first time Bucky kissed Steve on the cheek, Steve was sure it was an accident. Bucky was braiding his hair again and had leaned in close. It made Steve’s stomach twist in knots, his breathing go short. He wanted to ask Bucky if he meant it. He wanted to ask Bucky to do it again._

_But he didn’t have to. Bucky worked quietly for a few minutes before he leaned back down, placing a kiss on Steve’s cheek. Deliberately. Intentionally._

_Steve bit the insides of his cheeks to keep himself from grinning like a fool._

***

Steve closed his eyes as soon as he could tell Bucky was nearing the end, the last bits of hair hanging from the back of his head. 

He felt Bucky tug and snip. Tug, snip. Tug, snip. And then, nothing.

“Stevie.” Bucky’s voice was right beside his ear. “Look.”

Steve opened his eyes. Bucky was leaned over his shoulder, cheek pressed to Steve’s ear.

Steve’s breath hitched in his throat. There he was. _There he was_. 

The face in the mirror was his. He grinned.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

“Anything for my best fella,” Bucky replied. 

Steve turned, pressed a kiss to Bucky’s cheek, then looked back to the mirror, to the two of them framed there so perfectly. 

***

[ _here is the art that inspired this piece!_ ](https://hopeless--geek.tumblr.com/post/162798617230/pre-war-transsteve-making-the-big-cut-with-a)


End file.
